Paranoia
by firedraygon
Summary: [FujiRyo] With a boyfriend like Fuji, who wouldn't be nervous during April Fools?


AN: Written for Ryuuza because she wanted me to write FujiRyo. Send all flames to her. XP

* * *

There were very few things in the world that made Echizen Ryoma nervous; even fewer so the things that made him downright paranoid. April first, however, was on both lists, right next to Valentine's Day and Christmas Eve. 

Especially since he was the almost-three-years-and-running boyfriend to one Fuji Syuusuke.

The first year with Fuji had been actually quite mild. Sure there was that time when Fuji convinced his friends in the radio club to let him make a quick announcement to the school during homeroom (Tomoko and the rest of her fanclub had a field day trying to figure out who dared to broadcast a love confession to their Ryoma-sama), and that other time in the locker room when he 'borrowed' Ryoma's clothes while he was taking a shower, and left him a maid uniform to change into (suffice to say no one was willing to lend him a normal outfit); but looking back, Ryoma definitely had to admit it had been mild.

During the second year, things had gotten exponentially worse. Anonymously written poetry stuffed into his shoe locker turned into posters descriptively declaring their love; innocent school-wide proclamations somehow made their way to local news and radio stations; his father was certain that he was hanging around with loose women after literally being attacked by his cherry lip-balm wearing boyfriend. ("Your lips seem quite chapped, Ryoma. Let me help you with that.") These things began to happen almost weekly, but only around certain days of the year did Ryoma want to stay in bed all day and not come out.

Today was one of those days.

Momoshirou had come to pick him up, bright and early. Before he even took a single step out the door, one look at the gigantic grin on his sempai's face was the first clue that something was Just Not Right.

Momo-sempai, he'd said, you don't look good.

"Che, ungrateful brat," Momoshirou had said, "I oughta -Oh. OH. Ha! Ah-hahaha, don't worry about me, I just ate too much this morning, 's all. Got too excited with the, uh, start of the new month, you know!"

Ryoma had brushed off the comment as another one of Momo-sempai's oddities and gotten on the back of the bicycle. It was during the ride to school that what the other boy had said finally hit him.

Ryoma could've _sworn_ he had more time before he had to face Fuji's ruthless onslaught. Was his hair dyed purple again? He hadn't paid attention while he was getting ready in the bathroom. Heck, he had even eaten breakfast without checking what exactly was in it.

He wasn't emotionally prepared yet.

By the time they reached the school gates, Ryoma had already replayed the previous years' pranks several times in his mind, and now he was completely on edge.

"Good morning, Ryoma," Fuji greeted him cheerily. Ryoma inwardly flinched and got off the bike. Momoshirou excused himself hastily and fled.

The coward, Ryoma thought. Next time he would make sure to bleed his oh-so generous sempai's wallet dry.

"Since we don't have morning practice today, would you care to join me for a little walk before the bell rings?"

"..."

"No?" A chuckle. Fuji reached into his pocket. "Then how about -"

Ryoma walked away without looking back. He made it inside his classroom and slowly opened the door, wary of any mimes that might pop up out of nowhere. (Fuji had planned a surprise 'birthday' bash this year a month before the actual date, and he had conveniently forgotten that Ryoma had been traumatized by circus clowns as a child.) Satisfied when all he saw in the room were some students he never bothered to learn the names of, he entered with a normal gait.

He stood next to his desk and looked around the room for anything suspicious. It was late in the week, so he was sure Fuji must've planted some surprises for him, though he wouldn't put it past the sadistic bastard to come in during the weekend to rig up something special. He kneeled down and checked under the desk and under his seat for any gadgets, and he was perplexed to find none. Was it that Fuji found something bigger and better to try on him; that he didn't have to resort to tape recording one of their make-out sessions and have Ryoma trigger playing it by sitting down?

Ryoma was afraid truly afraid and school hadn't even started yet.

* * *

By the time after school practice had rolled around, Ryoma was a wreck. Superficially, he was as cool as ever, but to someone who knew him as well as Fuji, he was completely in shambles on the inside. He knew the tennis prodigy was probably having a riot from all this stress he was creating for him. Ryoma would have considered exacting revenge if he wasn't scared of what the consequences were. 

"Echizen." Ryoma's heart leapt into his throat when he felt the hand on his shoulder. He ran into the locker room and shut the door with a click. From the outside, he heard, "Ii data."

Better safe than sorry, he commended himself, and then he realized that he had just jumped headlong into a potential trap.

"Ryoma, my, my, I didn't think you were that anxious to see me." Just a few steps away stood Fuji, half-way through changing.

I will not give him the satisfaction of seeing my distress, Ryoma thought resolutely.

He nodded once at the closed-eyed boy and was about to move to his usual locker when Fuji asked, "Can you pass me my shoulder pack over there?" Ryoma eyed the bag with contempt. He steeled himself, ready for anything that might jump, bite, or spray (yes, last year there had been a skunk), and picked up the item. Then he walked before the older boy, who had just finished putting on a shirt, and put down the bag. "Thank you."

Ryoma proceeded to stiffly change out of his school uniform and into a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. He pulled out his hat and put it on, feeling slightly comforted by the familiar weight on his head. He shut his locker as was startled to find Fuji standing where the locker door used to be. This was not a good sign, because that meant he had been distracted enough to let someone as dangerous as Fuji himself sneak up on him.

"Fuji-sempai, what are you doing?"

"Let's go out together, shall we?" Fuji smiled and tilted his head to the side.

"Fine." Ryoma took the lead and tried to walk out the door, but was dismayed to find that he couldn't open it. His voice turned cold. "Syuu -"

A warm hand fell over Ryoma's, which was still on the knob. The door opened.

"The others are waiting for us." With that, Fuji headed towards the courts, pausing with a glance over his shoulder, indicating that Ryoma should hurry. Wordlessly, the capped boy followed, feeling a twinge of guilt for not trusting his boyfriend.

* * *

Practice had passed with little mishap. Inui wanted to try out another new juice, Momoshirou and Kaidoh got into another scuffle, and everyone had to run a couple dozen laps around the courts. All in all, it had been very normal. 

Now, Ryoma was walking home with Fuji because Momoshirou ran off to do some important errands. He was slowly relaxing his guard, but it wasn't completely down because the day was yet to end. He would risk no chances.

They stopped at a MacDonald's and Ryoma ate while Fuji read an old newspaper. Ryoma made sure he leafed through his entire burger and poured out his fries onto the tray before he put anything in his mouth. Last time it wasn't wasabi that Fuji put in (Ryoma was starting to tolerate the spiciness, if only because Fuji kept making him bento with the green paste spread all over the place), but horseradish sauce that he found completely disgusting. He didn't consider this a sign of weakness, because it was something he did all the time before eating with Fuji. It wasn't that he didn't trust his boyfriend -

Okay, it was because he didn't trust his boyfriend.

But he hasn't done anything remotely evil today, a voice in Ryoma's mind added. You're probably hurting his feelings by being like this. For shame, Ryoma, for shame.

He promptly told his brain to shut up. If he underestimated Fuji now, he would be the one to pay dearly.

"Ryoma, would you like to come over today?"

Sirens blared in his head. He quickly spewed out a lame excuse in a very controlled voice.

"Oh, but didn't Horio say that you don't have any homework tonight?"

Ryoma stored this away for future reference. (Note to self, _Drive A_ Horio a couple times next practice.) He jumped to his second generic excuse.

"We just had tennis practice, Ryoma. Even if you want to be the best, you need to relax sometimes. C'mon."

"...Fine, but only for a bit."

* * *

On the way to Fuji's house, they passed by a news stand and Ryoma stopped in confusion. 

"...Fuji-sempai."

"Hmm?"

"The newspapers."

"What about them?"

"Aren't they all from yesterday?

"Why, I believe these are dated March 31st, yes."

"That's weird."

"Saa, maybe there's been a mistake."

"Yeah, maybe, unless -"

"What is it?"

"No. No way, you've _got_ to be kidding me." Of all the things he anticipated Fuji to do, of all the stunts he had foreseen, this was completely unexpected. He feared for the worst.

Fuji smiled brightly.

"Syuusuke, you..."

"Happy early April Fools', Ryoma."

"...What about Momo-sempai!"

"Hm?"

"He told me today was April 1st!"

"Oh, he was just doing his sempai a little favour."

"..." Ryoma wanted to cry.

Fuji pecked his boyfriend on the nose and said sweetly, "Let's have fun tomorrow."


End file.
